Mommy Tales

‘So, you’re not working?’
‘Asshole’, I’d of course never say out loud. I may or may not think it though. Maybe it’d rather be ‘Motherfucker’, I’m not sure.

Apparently, the (absolutely superficial and non-reflective) person demanding such an incredible thing probably is not very acquainted with SAHMs, one of those rampant made-up terms, that describes a Stay-At-Home-Mom or, as our aforesaid person would say, a Not-Working-Mom. Ha!

Never ever could I think of such a labor condition out there in the big world of capitalism. Oh no, don’t get me wrong. Though there may be some points to criticize in a capitalistic world, that’s not my point for THIS post.

Come on and stretch your imagination a bit (yes, I know, it’s a hard task…) and follow my thoughts to this hypothetical situation:

You’re applying for a job, let’s say in the field of care (for persons). This job is supposed to fulfill your life. You wish to find new energy, a lot of fun, you’re absolutely convinced that you’ll love it AND did I already mention, it is to fulfill your life. It’s a rather stressing job, but you could manage it. If you push yourself a bit. A bit more, wimp! Well, you’re discussing further terms of this employment and discover this:

-working time: 7days a week (wait, there ARE just 7 days in EVERY week, right?), 24hours a day (I hope your maths skills would help you to evaluate your weekly free time at this point)
-vacation/holiday/break/breather: sorry, old chap, sold out here. Nothing to get. Finished. Take a number and put your little ass in the row. Oh, no row there?
-salary: none (wait, there are approx. 150,– Euros per month and person you care for, but these are not nearly enough to pay your travel + entertainment expenses)
-approval (by society, friends, state, other people): hmm, difficult. Not THAT much. A little bit. Maybe. Depends.

Sounds great? Well, welcome to my world. I’m working day and night (and don’t believe the nights are off duty) AND I’m even working while using the bathroom. Hey, I said USING not cleaning. But that would be also true. There are never days off and when my never-ending whining and begging helped me to convince the grandparents to have the kids for a weekend they WILL BE ABSOLUTELY ICKY for at least a week after their returning. Never in my life before (and I had some jobs I can compare with) did I work so hard and gain so little approval.

Why is working just working for money? There are million of people working for low money or doing stuff voluntary. Would it ever occur to above mentioned person to pose such a question to them? I don’t think so.

So, dear stranger, friend or person sitting next to me in the bus. Please try and think a little bit before you’re posing questions that will the average SAHM get mad.

You may, on the other hand, truly believe that a mother is absolutely to blame herself about her position. Listen, dumbass (I’m so sorry for my repetitions, but as English is NOT my mother tongue it’s rather difficult to find a variety of nasty expressions, well I meant something like $*##’&%* nevertheless.), I’m not whining about the work I have to do because I wanted to have children (well, actually, I AM whining, but let’s just pretend I wasn’t). I’m complaining about too little encouragement, be it state, be it mundane. Yes, these are my children. But I cannot let them grow up outside society. They are a part of it the moment they’re born. So my work is not just a private amusement. I’m also working for preservation, alteration and development of the human society. I’m pretty much convinced that a child that once grown-up maybe will wipe your ass (job-related, I mean) when you’re bedridden and old should be of your interest already today. Also, the kid I should care for alone because it’s MY kid could someday be responsible for another banking crisis. Or (that’s the thought I’m more in love with) prevent one.

So. Whenever you’re itching to place this absolutely non-acceptable sentence I used to entitle this post, stop, think, take a deep breath and say: ‘You for sure must have a load of work to do, managing your daily routine.’ I will love you when you’re then saying something nice about my kids although they’re maybe picking their noses or doing stuff like that.

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